Married, But Spiritually Single

When I was younger, I assumed that I would meet someone with similar spiritual interests. In my mind’s eye we would attend conferences together, read the same books and grow spiritually as a couple. Thirteen years ago I married my husband; our spiritual paths appear to compliment each other, but rarely do they coincide.

My husband is actually educated in a number of religious beliefs and practices. We share an attraction to Buddhism, although I have yet to see him meditate. Over the years we have shared in a couple of events, such as our children’s baptism and hearing His Holiness the Dalai Lama speak. Overall my spiritual endeavors have been in solitude.

I certainly appreciate my husband’s support of my spiritual path. I am fortunate that he understands my spiritual needs and quests. As long as our needs are being met, he is at ease.

Still there are times, particularly when I travel, that I wish he were there. Of course, I notice the other couples in attendance and I think it would be nice to share the experience with my husband. I know that we are together for a reason and I accept that our spiritual paths are very different. Without this acceptance I would not have experienced the other opportunities that have come my way.

At a recent training conference, I met another woman in a similar situation. We instantly formed a bond and spent the week together. If my husband or her husband had been in attendance, that opportunity would not have presented itself in the same manner. I am grateful to have had the experience of making a new friend.

With my husband’s support and understanding I have been able to meditate in the Great Pyramid, visit New Grange, travel to Iceland and each year I enjoy a yoga retreat in Mexico. Along the way I have gathered invaluable experiences and made unforgettable connections. I have been able to add to my holistic practice and I am going to embark on a year long transformational experience with the Tarsia Center starting next month.

These experiences have led me to believe that spiritual preferences and endeavors do not have to be experienced by both sides of a couple. At times those paths may cross, but as long as there is support within the relationship things will work out. I cherish the time I spend working on my spiritual growth apart from my husband. I also look forward to the times and adventures I share with him when we are together. Being spiritually single as helped me grow on my spiritual path and I am thankful for the experience.

 

Acceptance: It Is That Simple

Being a product of co-dependency can create some interesting relationships in a person’s life. I am speaking from personal experience of course. While pondering a decision I made regarding boundaries, I asked myself if I was lacking compassion or protecting myself?

My inner voice began to rationalize my actions based on past events. As I was working through the details another voice came through. This is the voice I know as my Higher Self, the direct personification of a higher consciousness. The voice said, “Accept the truth, not the personality. Accept that person as a child of God. It is that simple.”

Apparently I was over complicating the situation. I was relying on falsehoods, not truth. The decision to not accept a person’s negativity was sound, but the idea not to accept the person was incorrect. I had not thought of the person as a direct reflection of God. I was caught up in the worldly emotions of the relationship.

Any healing process involves acceptance and forgiveness. This is not to condone or excuse anyone’s actions. The recognition that each person is a reflection of God is a way to heal. I am able to accept a child of God much more easily than the personality a soul projects. (Myself included.)

I am never given more than I can handle. Each difficult person is a lesson in acceptance. I will need to remember that I do not have to accept their falsehoods, only their true selves. I need to allow myself to see them as a child of God. And accept that they are a reflection of a higher power.