There are a multitude of spiritual teachings based on the duality of life. The yin and yang, light and darkness, male and female to name a few. Personally I am a believer in the delicate balances throughout life. Unfortunately this belief is not enough to navigate and understand life fully. Particularly during times of stress and despair when we are hardest on ourselves and feel alone.
Most of us have heard some of the following, if not all:
If you love someone set them free.
Love is always worth fighting for never give up.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
Let go and let God.
Silence is golden.
Always speak your truth.
Forget the past.
Learn from the past.
A good scroll on my Instagram feed has me confused as hell. Do I stop to rest or do I keep going? Let go or give it everything I have? Iced or hot? Team Cap or Team Iron Man? All of these messages and quotes are confusing and contradictory at times. This is when we need to use our personal discernment. There is no road map or app to help with this process. It is up to us to take a step back and listen to our higher self, the authentic self. Logic alone will not provide the answers, nor will following the heart. An alignment of the mind, body, and spirit are required to help us determine the best course of action for the situation at hand. Not surprisingly writing about this is much easier than living it.
I had a coworker who wasn’t the most reliable of friends, but she would bail you out of jail. She met a man and basically disappeared. I eventually stopped texting her and I have not heard from her in over a year. Although she was there through my divorce and my first attempts at dating, I was able to let our friendship go. Perhaps we were only meant to know each other for a brief period of time. On the other hand I lost a romantic relationship at the beginning of this year. It pains me each and every single day. The grief has been worse than my divorce. I understand there may never be a resolve between us, but I keep hanging on to hope. I decided to put this into the category of a love worth fighting for.
My personal discernment with the friendship allowed me to let go and move on from the situation which was causing me stress. However, it did not direct me in the same direction for my romantic relationship. What’s the difference? Friendship vs romantic love? Was the friendship not as valuable? Is there actually hope? Or am I just not ready? Will I ever be ready to look at this situation differently? I honestly do not know. Time will tell and in the mean time I am practicing living in the present moment.
Discernment is defined as the ability to judge well. I find this interesting because discernment is conducted by a person with feelings, opinions, and biases. Is it ever possible for us to judge well? This opens up an entirely different blog topic for another day.
SPIRITUAL discernment is a personal process. I personally believe it is best conducted through prayer, meditation, and mindfulness. Take a pause, meet your self in the silence, and then begin to process the situation at hand. Most importantly be easy on yourself.
Discernment (in Christian contexts) perception in the absence of judgment with a view
to obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding.“without providing for a time of healing and discernment, there will be no hope of living through
this present moment without a shattering of our common life”