Fear: Building My Career

When it came to aptitude tests, I was always well rounded. My scores never provided definitive answers to a college major or career. Basically I would be good at anything I tried. That would have been excellent, but I am 35 and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

Generally, I have excelled at my work endeavors, but I have yet to find one I truly loved. The closest I came was working in a full service Marriott; at the time it was great and I enjoyed the work tremendously. Now I have two young children and working in an industry which never closes is far less appealing. Regardless of my job placement, I have always felt that I was in the right place at the right time.

Earlier this year I decided to create my dream job. I created a mission statement and vision statement, I even created a space for my new career. All I needed was a dream and I would be ready to embark on my new adventure.

In the twenty plus years since those aptitude tests I was no closer to a dream job. I could tell you what I didn’t want, and I knew I wanted to make own schedule while helping others on their spiritual paths. I was also fearful to lose any income while embarking on my new endeavor. 

Feeling a bit lost, I turned to speaker and author Jon Acuff for guidance on building the career I wanted. Through personal experiences and humor, Acuff helped me to understand myself better. For the first time in my life I had some sense of direction. Right now I am in the phase of not quitting my day job, so I can build my dream job. I  have found this step to be very important because it practically illuminates the fear I have about creating my own career. 

Today I feel as though I received an unlabeled box from Ikea. I have all the pieces and tools, but the instructions are vague and I don’t know what the final product will be. I can’t tell where my heart lies; am I to build a chair or shelving unit? The one underlying theme throughout all my career research goes back to the movie Field of Dreams, “If you build it they will come.”

I need to stop worrying about the outcome and start building my dream to see where it takes me. I know that if my spirit, mind, and body are in the right place then my dream will unfold. I also know that in time my dream will change and that will be okay too. Today is the day I punch fear in face and get on with my life.

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